if tl;dr applies to you, it's all good, i'll keep this first part short for you and just say bye.

things for me as most of you know aren't going well, i haven't told many people about the situation yet because i know that people don't like drama. so i'll try to keep it short, but remember that this whole situation is pretty much the result of my mistakes, things i shouldn't have been doing, things i neglected to do, things i took for granted, and so forth, so there's no need to really feel bad about it because it was pretty much my fault. i'm just letting everyone know that Friday will be my last time coming online in a really long time, at first i thought maybe a few months, but it'll probably be longer than that.

pretty much a summary of it is this: i'm being kicked out of my apartment and i have to find a new one because of trouble with a neighbor. he was kicked out then, i was given 30 days to move out all my stuff. that 30 day notice was given about 2 weeks ago, and i was fired from my job about a week and a half ago. i just yesterday had an interview and was hired at capital removal, which is basically like labor, where i have to work tearing up old buildings and transporting the debris to a dump site, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. so you could say that the amount of time i have to go online will be stripped away pretty much completely, the only reason i've been able to do so much online recently was because i was fired from my last job. coming friday, if i'm not working then i have to be out looking for a place to move, which is going to be a bitch because i just got evicted. so i figure this: either get my shit together, or continue doing this and end up homeless with no where to keep my shit. my financial problems are another concern of mine, there's no need for me to tell you how i got into so much debt, you already know for the most part. which is really upsetting to me because alot of you told me to take it easy on it, i didn't listen, and now i'm in debt. instead of saving the extra money from my paychecks each month, i spent it, and when situations that require money arose, i wasn't prepared because i smoked all my money away. so i have to quit pot too, which sucks because it wasn't completely for recreational fun, i have problems with my spine that pot really helped ease the pain and make it easier to move around, and now i can't afford it or even use it anymore because of my new job, i'd end up getting my hand cut off or something if i went to work high like i did at all my other jobs. so now my back is going to constantly be aching once i start working this new job, because i have to constantly be moving the entire eight hour shift, apart from one 30 minute lunchbreak and one ten minute break. which isn't bad for most places, but this is like serious hard ass labor, and it's hella hot over here too. i'll be fucking wore out at the end of the day.

besides, my issues with pot are messing with my life anyway though, yes it's great and all, but too much of it can really screw things up. i've lost my girlfriend because i could never remember the things she'd tell me, i was always high when i talked with her, and i just neglected her for pot for so long that she finally got fed up. i don't blame her or anything, i probably would have done the same, it's just that now is a really complicated time in my life where it seems that things never want to go right, and i used pot as a way to get out of it and enjoy life despite how shitty it was/is. it was pretty much my excuse for everything i fucked up on. the thing that nobody really understood completely about my pot thing is this: i don't really have that great of a life, it's really not that great, and pot was pretty much the main thing that made me happy about it. people sometimes tell me on here how cool or funny i am, or how fun i'd be to hang out with, but to tell the complete truth, i'm actually a really anti social person with horrible people skills. i do talk to people, i am nice and all for the most part, it's just that i never have anything interesting to say and i get nervous talking to people i don't know. i really don't care what they think overall, but it's just something that's hard for me because i was never really around people pretty much my entire teenage years due to being in placement after placement (another long explanation altogether; to sum it up i was kicked out of my aunt's house when i was 12 and put in placement.) so yeah, i pretty much better stop blabbing or else nobody will read this.

i will add one more paragraph to this journal though, i just want to say thank you to everyone who's ever at one point or another supported me, laughed at my shitty jokes, given me advice, left me a comment regardless of what it was, drawn me a gift, put up with my bullshit, or just were there to talk to when i needed to vent and/or just talk in general. thanks for keeping me out of trouble and giving me something more constructive to do with my spare time other than just smoke pot, and i apologize for any people i may have neglected to appreciate more. in all, i will miss coming here, and i will miss you guys. i don't want to get all dramatic with the goodbyes or anything, but really though, this might be the last chance i get to write such a long journal, and the last chance i'll get to say bye. times running out, and i gotta start busting my ass or else i'll lose everything. so, as soon as i'm done getting together the scores for round 1 on the htf forum, which i'm hoping to finish today, i'll be stepping down as host of the tourney and handing the responsibility to the co host, coolkid. i really was looking forward to hosting it, i really shouldn't have taken on the responsibility since i was already in a financial mess and a total wreck altogether, but it wasn't as bad as it is now at the time i was asked and i really wanted to do it. it sucks, but it's something i gotta do.

mother fuck mother fuck noich noich noich

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 noich noich noich

shmokin' weed, shmokin' weed, doin' coke, drinkin' beers

drinkin' beers beers beers

rollin' fatties shmokin' blunts

who smokes the blunts? we smoke the blunts

rollin' blunts and shmokin 'em...

anyway hey guys. not much going on here as usual. i had to delete my other msn messenger a few weeks back because it was fucking up, but i got a new one set up, so if any of you ass bonkers wanted to talk, my new address thingy is friedmouse@live.com.
in other news i tried some pot i never tried today called "Monkey Paw". the name fit well in my opinion considering how hard it hit me. the last stuff i had was awful, all the crystals had fallen off and it was losing it's color and it was hella dried out... pretty much all it did was give me a headache. monkey paw though, man. monkey paw. truly amazing. any other potheads out there who read this should try it for themselves, seriously, it's like one of the best types of bud i have ever smoked. and that's alot.
other than that, i have another new niece. luckily she came out okay, considering her mother smoked all through out her pregnancy like a fuckin moron. her name is Kayla, but i haven't really seen her much. she was born only about a week ago. she's a little ugly, but cute at the same time. all newborns are ugly though, but they get cute as fuck as the months go by.
anyway, there's about to be a 420 in progress, so i'd better get packing. see ya!

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HAPPY 4:20!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!! best day of the year. ever.

my plans exist of the normal everyday pothead's... sit back relax and smoke ALL DAY LONG! whoo! i'm so excited i gots me some really good hash to kick it up a notch too, just sprinkle a little on top and BAM! you're all set to burn the house down.

later in the evening is when the real fun begins though we're goin to teh beach and we're going to make a bonfire and we're going to make S'MORES! fuck yeah! and i might descend on a journey full of magical dancing mushrooms, but i'm not sure if i want to anymore. last time was all bad

anyway, for most of you today is just a regular day probably. maybe earth day. but it's only earth day because it's 4:20. oh it's Hiter's birthday today too, that's another reason 4:20 is chosen today, because everyone gets so high they forget about him

you know it's funny the way certain things play out

you think you know someone and it's like the complete fucking opposite. do you know that feeling? you think you're someone's friend or at least acquaintance and it all ends up being just a big fucking joke on your expense. you actually trust this person and tell them personal shit and then they go talk about it behind your back and laugh about it and shit. and to think i ever considered this person a friend, shameful shameful shameful. and the funniest part is that i'm treated like i'm fuckin stupid... well, completely stupid... like i can't see whats going on or anything. well i do, and it's all good. when the right time comes, i'll know what to do to retaliate.

haw mother fuckin haw


*un-internet related btw

*or is it?

*yeah. it is.

man, i'm so tired but i can't seem to sleep anymore at all hardly. i fell asleep on thursday evening and woke up at around 11 at night, and i've pretty much been up since then. it's kind of cool cause i get more things done at night, but it sucks because i'm always tired and i'm pretty much getting stupider and stupider as each day goes by. and boy oh boy, have i become clumsy and thick headed. i have broken so many things on accident this past week that its definitely becoming a cause for concern to me, i mean shit dude, i've broken 4 glasses 2 mugs a pipe and a fucking lava lamp in one week. what else will i frickin break around here?

anyways, don't expect much from me, i might have to leave the internet for awhile sometime soon to attend with personal obligations and such. to be honest its bad like most of my other news, but i'll spare myself the embarrassment of explaining why for now.

anyway, see ya folks later